The 7 Signs Someone Is Gaslighting You

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser attempts to make you question your own reality, memory, and perceptions. Named after the 1944 film Gaslight, this tactic is devastatingly effective because it attacks your ability to trust yourself.

1. They Deny Things You Know Happened

"I never said that." "That didn't happen." "You're making things up." When someone consistently denies events you clearly remember, they're attempting to erode your confidence in your own memory.

2. They Trivialize Your Feelings

"You're being too sensitive." "You're overreacting." "It was just a joke." By dismissing your emotional responses as excessive, they train you to suppress your natural reactions to their behavior.

3. They Use What You Love Against You

Your passions, your children, your career—gaslighters identify what matters most to you and weaponize it. "If you really cared about the kids, you wouldn't..."

4. They Align Others Against You

"Everyone agrees with me." "Your friends think you're crazy too." By claiming consensus, they isolate you and make you feel like the problem.

5. They Project Their Behavior Onto You

Cheaters accuse you of cheating. Liars call you dishonest. This confusion tactic keeps you on the defensive, too busy proving your innocence to notice their guilt.

6. They Rewrite History

Past events get reframed to suit their narrative. Arguments you won become arguments you lost. Promises they broke become promises you imagined.

7. Their Actions Don't Match Their Words

Pay attention to the pattern: apologies without change, promises without follow-through, love without respect. Words cost nothing. Actions reveal everything.

Defense Protocol

Document everything. Keep a private journal of events with dates. Trust your gut—if something feels wrong, it probably is. And remember: you don't need their validation to know what's real.